Hold On to Me Read online

  He tried to find some more words but nothing came. An audacious magpie landed on the railing of the deck and watched them, tilted its head and then flapped its wings for take-off.

  ‘Listen. Stella.’

  She turned in her chair and looked up at him, held a hand over her eyes to block out the bright summer sun.

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘There’s something I need to say. I have to apologise for what I said to you the other night. After the party. About where you grew up and your family money and every other stupid fucking thing I said to you.’ He took a deep breath. ‘About playing with me. About everything. I’m sorry, Stella. I put two and two together and came up with a working-class chip on my shoulder the size of Granite Island. I know I was wrong. Yeah, I got jealous and then I asked myself what the hell someone like you would be doing with someone like me. I took one look at you and got the wrong impression, I guess.’

  Stella looked into her lap and smoothed the skirt of her frock with one hand as if she was brushing off grains of sand. ‘And what impression was that?’

  ‘Well, I mean … look at you. You’ve just about got the best business brain I’ve ever seen. You are the most determined woman I know and Anna is my sister so that’s saying something. You look like you should be on the cover of a magazine, always so put together and perfect. You laugh like an angel and I bet nothing ever smudges that red lipstick of yours.’

  ‘You had your chance to smudge my lipstick,’ she said. ‘But you blew it.’

  ‘I was jealous, okay? Knowing that you’d been with Duncan and the fact that he’s been hanging around … Well, I got a little crazy.’

  ‘More than a little.’

  ‘But I got crazy for a reason, Stella. I want you. So much that I don’t give a shit that all my family are behind that glass looking at every move we make.’

  Luca looked over his shoulder and Stella followed his glance. Six faces suddenly disappeared from behind the sliding glass doors.

  ‘I want to finish what we started.’ He leant down, lowered his voice. ‘I really want to fuck you.’

  He reached for her hand and, to his surprise, Stella took it. He pulled her to standing and into his arms.

  He wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her. When he pressed his lips to hers, fierce and quick, he felt her quiver.

  ‘Merry Christmas, Stella.’

  * * *

  Anna, Julia and Lizzie were huddled together, hiding in a clutch away from the glass doors.

  ‘Did Luca just kiss her?’ Anna whispered.

  Julia and Lizzie exchanged glances. They weren’t sure about the etiquette of spying on a friend’s younger brother. Lizzie had some experience, having seen Anna and her brother Joe fall in love, but this felt different.

  ‘I think that was just a regular, run-of-the-mill Christmas kiss,’ Lizzie said.

  ‘Yes, a season’s-greetings kind of peck,’ Julia agreed.

  ‘That is such crap,’ Anna said with a laugh. ‘My little brother is hot for Stella. Surely you two have seen it while he’s been working down here. And today! Haven’t you been watching the way he’s acted since she walked in the door?’

  Lizzie couldn’t hold in her smile. ‘Well, I had noticed, but I didn’t want to say anything. He is your brother and everything.’

  Julia bumped shoulders with Anna. ‘Oh, I totally noticed but we’re here with your family, and nothing’s officially official, is it?’

  Anna moved her head an inch and took another peek through the glass. ‘I never thought Luca was an official kind of guy, if you know what I mean. He may be my little brother but even I know he’s gorgeous. He’s spent his whole life being chased by women. You wouldn’t believe how often and where he gets propositioned. But,’ she lowered her voice, ‘it looks to me like he’s the one doing the chasing here, am I right?’

  ‘You wouldn’t mind if …?’ Julia raised her eyebrows in a question.

  ‘If they what? Got together?’

  Julia and Lizzie looked at each other.

  ‘Well, yes,’ said Lizzie.

  ‘Why would I? She’s a fabulous woman. Why do you think I invited her today?’

  Julia and Lizzie grinned.

  ‘And Lizzie, don’t forget whose brother I’m sleeping with.’

  Lizzie looked at Julia. ‘That would be mine. No further details, thank you very much.’

  ‘There would be something nice about keeping it in the family, don’t you think?’ Anna smiled.

  ‘As long as we’re on the subject of keeping it in the family, we have a confession to make.’ Julia nudged Lizzie.

  ‘You want me to spill the beans?’ Lizzie asked incredulously.

  ‘She is your sister-in-law,’ Julia whispered. ‘Well, unofficially. So you should tell.’

  Lizzie took a deep breath. ‘Okay. You know the night you met Joe, at Julia and Ry’s wedding at the Middle Point pub?’

  Anna grinned and raised a wicked eyebrow. ‘How can I forget? I turned up with a heart shattered into a million pieces by my lousy ex-husband and met the love of my life.’

  Julia and Lizzie sighed, looked at each other.

  ‘I did that,’ Lizzie whispered. ‘I threw you two together. I could see that you and Joe were both sad and lonely and that you really, really needed some no-strings-attached fun. So, I told him he simply had to ask you to dance. Bullied him a little, actually.’

  ‘Really? It was you?’ When Julia and Lizzie saw tears in Anna’s eyes, they teared up too.

  ‘Yes. I may be the little sister but I am just as bossy as you are with Luca and Grace.’

  Anna reached an arm around Lizzie’s waist—she was too short to reach her shoulder—and held on tight. ‘Have I ever told you that you are the best sister-in-law a woman could have if she ever said yes?’

  Just as they returned their focus to the conversation outside, Luca slowly put Stella down and then held her face in his hands. This time, he planted on her the kind of kiss that could never be mistaken for friendly Christmas wishes. The three women gasped in unison.

  ‘Oh my,’ said Lizzie.

  ‘I’m blushing,’ said Julia.

  ‘I was right,’ said Anna with relish. ‘I know my little brother. And that man is gone for all money. So, tell me more about Stella. I know she owns the most incredible boutique on the south coast, but why is she still single? What’s her story, Julia?’

  Julia lowered her voice. ‘I’ve known her since we were teenagers. Pretty tragic family.’ She looked over her shoulder before she continued. ‘I don’t know the whole story but she grew up with her great auntie, Karen, in the caravan park. Her parents died when she was really young.’

  ‘Oh, no.’ Anna covered her mouth. ‘No other family?’

  ‘Aside from Karen? No, I don’t think so. She went to Sydney when I left for Melbourne after high school. But I don’t think it ended well over there—at least, something brought her back here five years ago. She’s never really talked about it. She’s pretty private.’

  ‘And no men since then?’

  ‘Nothing serious,’ Lizzie said.

  ‘There’s a broken heart right there that needs our attention,’ Anna told them. ‘It’s what I do. Heal people.’

  Julia pulled the other two women in close. ‘I agree. So, here’s the deal, Anna. Lizzie and Dan did it for me and Ry. Then Ry and I returned the favour to make sure those two ended up together too. We all worked our magic on you and Joe. Feel like taking a turn?’

  Anna nodded. ‘Leave this one to me, ladies.’

  ‘You’ve got to stop kissing me like that.’ Stella pushed against Luca’s chest, needing to put space between them. What was it about this man that had her indulging in such risky behaviour? She’d worked so hard to keep her secrets and her life private and here she was, pashing Luca like a teenager in front of his whole family. He moved back just enough that she could drop her hands and clasp them.

  Luca grinned down at her. ‘Then stop liking it so much.
’

  She shivered at the awareness in his tone. She knew why she was taking risks. She didn’t just like his kisses. She craved them. When his mouth was on hers and his arms were around her and her hands had mysteriously found their way into tangling in his black hair, she forgot everything. Who she was. Where she was. What year. What day of the week. What time of the day. Her good sense. Everything, that is, except how much she wanted him. One week apart had done nothing to dull the ache she felt for his touch. Since he’d stormed off from her shop the night of the opening, his dark eyes transformed by the green-eyed monster, he’d been on her mind all day. Late every night, when thoughts of him were about to turn into dreams of him, she had made herself come with him behind her closed eyelids, with him in her fingertips and with the idea of him pressed up against her so strong she could taste his mouth and feel his weight.

  She couldn’t get him out of her head. Which was a mistake in so many ways she couldn’t begin to count them.

  ‘Me? Like your kisses?’ She glanced sideways at him. ‘I don’t know what gave you that idea. They’re pretty ordinary, actually.’

  ‘So you don’t want me to do it again?’

  ‘No.’

  Luca leant in, looked her in the eyes without blinking, and she was drawn into the darkness in his. He held her with his look and teased her into his world … and she didn’t want to run from it.

  ‘So that little moan you made in the back of the throat, that meant nothing?’

  Stella shrugged. ‘I was about to cough.’

  ‘And your hands on my arse and in my hair? What was that about?’

  ‘I thought I was going to trip over. I had to hang on to something to break my fall.’

  He moved closer. ‘And the way you opened your mouth when I put my tongue in it?’

  She crossed her arms. ‘I was trying to scream for help.’

  Luca laughed, and the deep, honeyed sound of it echoed all around her.

  ‘You are full of shit,’ he murmured with a smile on his lips. ‘But I’m going to call you on it. All the work on Style by Stella is done. I’ll be doing some work for Anna and Joe in a few months, but I can keep to myself while I’m down here. If that’s the way you want it. No pub, no shops, no runs on your beach. One word from you and you’ll never have to see me again.’

  Never see Luca again? He would be free to go back to his single life in Adelaide. What a catch he was. Smart, successful, practical, gorgeous. Virile. A smile that could launch ships. When he walked into a room, music probably started to play.

  No. She could no more give him up than close her shop. And that thought struck right at the heart of who she was: the single, private, independent woman she’d had to become after Sydney. The life she’d created for herself was predicated on staying away from men who might hurt her.

  But there was something different about this man.

  Stella took two paces to the railing and leant against it, taking in the sea breeze, the salt in the air and the sunshine on her face. Luca followed her, leant down with his elbows on the rail, nudged her. It had happened slowly, but the concept of personal space between them had disappeared. She didn’t know if it was because he was Italian and touchy, but he was always close to her. His arm would graze hers. His hip would rub against her body. He was always touching her. Something that, if it had been described to her even a month earlier, would have been unthinkable. So much had changed so quickly—even inside her.

  Luca’s voice deepened, his smile grew warmer. ‘What are you doing tonight?’

  Stella looked out to the view. ‘I’ve got a date with Jimmy Stewart, as a matter of fact.’

  He stood straight, pulled in a deep breath. ‘Is that right?’

  ‘Uh huh. It’s a Wonderful Life. My favourite movie of all time. George Bailey is such an incredible character. Ambitious. Honourable. Such a commitment to his local community. He’s got these big dreams and he absolutely loves vintage suits.’

  ‘Don’t reckon they were vintage when the movie was shot. What was it, 1950-something?’

  ‘1946, actually.’

  ‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen a movie in black and white,’ Luca said.

  ‘You’re not into old Hollywood?’

  ‘I’m into young Hollywood. Exploding buildings. Car chases.’ He smiled. ‘Because I am young, remember?’ And there was that delicious tease in his voice and in his eyes.

  ‘How can I forget? So, that’s what I’m doing when I get home. Watching that wonderful movie with my cat.’

  ‘You have a cat? She must have disappeared when I was there. When we—’

  ‘Yes,’ Stella said. ‘She’s wary of strangers.’

  Stella looked back inside to the loving grandparents and the couples and the babies. She was honoured to have been invited to share such an important family occasion with these lovely people, even if it stirred memories she didn’t want to think about. Now, she was thinking of being with Luca, when the party had ended, when she would be back at her house.

  She didn’t have to be alone.

  ‘You want to join me?’

  CHAPTER

  23

  Mouse rubbed against Stella’s calf and purred like distant thunder as soon as she walked in the door.

  ‘Now, Mouse, I’ve got a man on the way, so be nice.’

  Stella checked her watch: it was six o’clock. When the babies had started getting restless at Anna and Joe’s Christmas party, Stella had made her excuses to leave. She’d kissed everyone goodbye and Luca managed to be the last in line. When he’d kissed her cheeks, twice, he’d also brushed a hand against her breast, and whispered, ‘I’ll be there in half an hour.’

  He was on his way. And they were going to have sex.

  The last time she’d slept with someone under thirty she’d been a teenager. Was that what this attraction to Luca was all about? Is that why she’d decided to give in, because sex with him would be uncomplicated? Perhaps she shouldn’t analyse it at all. She should do what Luca had said when he’d kissed her senseless the week before: don’t think.

  She checked her mobile phone out of habit as she dropped her things on the kitchen bench. There had been no calls today. She had no one else in her life to receive calls from. She’d spoken with Summer Christmas Eve, before she’d done half a day in her massage studio and then driven up to Adelaide for a holiday with her own family. Stella had called Ian and Lee earlier in the day to wish them season’s greetings. As for her other friends, Julia, Lizzie, Anna and their men and children had been such gracious hosts throughout the afternoon.

  For years, she’d been all alone at Christmas. Just her and Jimmy.

  Tonight, she was waiting for Luca Morelli.

  Mouse meowed and looked up at her with a swishing tail. ‘I know you don’t particularly care as long as you’re fed, but having a man here is a big deal for me.’ Stella walked to the fridge, careful of the cat by her feet. She had two bottles of pinot grigio and wondered if it would be enough.

  ‘It’s been a long time since I’ve wanted this,’ she continued to her cat-as-therapist. ‘So don’t screw it up.’

  She took it slow, sauntering to the bathroom. She brushed her teeth; slipped a condom into her bra and put extras in the drawer of her bedside table. She spritzed some perfume on her neck and wrists. Brushed her hair. Mouse insistently tangled herself around Stella’s legs, so she gave in to the feline’s demands and fed her, emptying a tin in her bowl by the back door.

  That’s when she heard Luca’s HiLux pull up outside. Stella’s heart thudded and a ridiculous joy flowed at the thought that she was about to have him all to herself. And then a moment later, he was at her front door, shadowed through the flywire. He pushed it open and came in and over to her. The street behind him was empty, the sea breeze a whisper in his hair.

  ‘Hi.’ The loose white cotton shirt and chinos he’d been wearing all day looked different in the twilight. His skin looked darker in the shadows and the lightness of the shi
rt made his smile even more electrifying.

  ‘Hello.’

  He kissed her gently on the lips, pressing a hand to the small of her back.

  He tasted so damn good. ‘You remembered where I live.’

  ‘Of course I did.’ With his free hand, Luca presented her with a small box. ‘Merry Christmas.’

  Stella fumbled before clutching it safely in her hands. ‘What’s this?’

  ‘Your Christmas present.’

  ‘You bought me a Christmas present?’ Her voice had jumped half an octave in embarrassment at his gesture. She swallowed and tried to find her cool.

  Luca chuckled. ‘You sound surprised.’

  Surprised? She was stunned into near wordlessness.

  ‘It’s just …’ Stella pulled her lips together. Memories swirled in her head and she felt dizzy. How on earth could she explain to a man who came from such a close-knit and loving family what her Christmases had been like as a child? No presents. No Christmas dinner. No family. When she’d gone to live with Karen, things had definitely improved, but her auntie was no spring chicken, so Stella had learnt to prepare a Christmas celebration for the two of them: a takeaway chicken and chips from the shop down the road from the caravan park. There weren’t many presents, either, and they were mostly clothes and books—Stella had loved them, and been grateful, but couldn’t help longing for the skates and boogie boards and new bikinis that the other kids showed off all summer holidays. Stella used to pretend she was on holidays too, making friends with the city kids and the country kids who roamed the park in a pack. The difference was they all left a couple of weeks later to go back to their homes and farms. Auntie Karen’s van never moved.

  Stella couldn’t remember the last time she’d received a present from anyone important to her. There were shared drinks and homemade biscuits from Summer on Christmas Eve, and Duncan had given her a bottle of champagne the year before. But this was different. This was personal. This was from Luca.

  ‘You going to open it?’

  Stella’s shaking fingers pulled at the brown string tied around the small package and the paper it secured came loose. Inside was a plain cardboard box and Luca gently eased the lid off for her. Stella cleared the tissue paper away and found an exquisite silver frame under it. She ran her fingers along the cool metal.